


Hawthorne and Rosenthal Dilemmas

by faithinthepoor



Series: Desperate Housewives [31]
Category: Desperate Housewives
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 01:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1963419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor/pseuds/faithinthepoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Setting during Don't Look At Me</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hawthorne and Rosenthal Dilemmas

**Author's Note:**

> Follows [Unseemly](http://archiveofourown.org/works/668467), [The Theory of Everything](http://archiveofourown.org/users/faithinthepoor), [Here There Be Dragons](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673221), [Somnambulist](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673229), [Wishin’ and Hopin’](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673233), [Nosology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673238), [Boundary Violations](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673240), [Fractals](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673250), [Windmill Tilting](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673255), [Ambitendency](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673262), [Heisenberg Territory](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673272), [The Illusions of Prisms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/673700), [Keratitis Sicca](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682311), [Schrödinger’s Realm](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682327), [Chiaroscuro](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682358), [Altered Trajectories](http://archiveofourown.org/works/682370), [Elegiacs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1952136), [Tachyphylaxis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1952244), [Verismo](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953516), [Forced Perspective](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953594), [Lex Talionis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953624), [Repetition Compulsion](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953663), [Cardioid Geometry](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1953693), [Mereology](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1959777), [Battlelines](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960131), [Enteropathy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960167), [Abnegation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960179), [Lichtenberg Figures](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960806), [Paradoxes](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1960851) and [Plastic Deformation](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1963329)

Sometimes she wonders why she ever had children, wonders what could have possibly possessed her to want a family. She tries not to think that it was related to proving that she was capable of being a better parent than her father and her step-mother but it’s hard to ignore the fact that she wasn’t exactly given a rosy picture of familial bliss to aspire to or emulate. Even if her motivation for having children was unrelated to her own upbringing she has to admit that she has tried to do everything that she can to be the best parent that she can be, to be a better parent than them. She never wanted her children to view her the way she views her step-mother and it’s difficult to acknowledge that it is entirely possible that Andrew’s hatred of her outweighs that of her own for Eleanor.

She is not particularly prone to superstitious beliefs but it’s difficult not to think that pondering the nature of family while she looked at Andrew in the corridor of the court house, somehow attributed to the appearance of her parents. They came riding in on their self-important and misguided white horses and attempted to circumvent the court case as though they had the answers to the universe regardless of whether or not they were informed on the questions. Her father’s omnipotence now apparently extends to pop-psychology and for some reason he thinks he can derail the dysfunctional dynamics that have led her and Andrew to a litigious battle by getting them to utter the word ‘sorry’. The whole situation is so ludicrous that she almost takes a perverse pleasure in knowing that things deteriorated to the point where their deepest, darkest secrets were brought to light. While she smarted with each poisoned but truthful barb Andrew shot, it wasn’t as though she didn’t have equally damning material with which to parry and in a strange way it is almost a relief to be able to share the burden of their combined guilt with others.

As annoying as they are she can accept her father’s attempts to control her with far greater ease than she can deal with Eleanor informing her that an executive decision has been made and that Andrew will be moving to Rhode Island. The trio excluded her from the decision as though her thoughts on the matter weren’t even worth considering. She knows that no matter how old Andrew and Danielle get, they will always be children in her eyes but Eleanor and her father seem to think that she remains a helpless, mewling infant. The implication that she is an unfit mother who Andrew needs to be removed from before he is beyond repair was blatant but Eleanor couldn’t leave it at that, couldn’t resist the opportunity to twist the knife and categorically state that she is a failure. As harsh as Eleanor’s words are they don’t hurt as much as the criticism of her mother. She knows that it’s probably an idealised view but she truly believes that her life would have been so much better if her mother had lived, that she would have been loved and believed in, sometimes she really hates her mother for dying and leaving her.

She walks away from Eleanor but lies awake, haunted by her words. It’s clear that they don’t see her, nobody ever does. That may actually be her own fault, she has spent so long trying to mould herself to other people’s whims, acting the way she thinks they want her to act, that she has become an expert chameleon and she shouldn’t be surprised that people can no longer see the person inside. If she wanted to be seen she wouldn’t continue with her charade but she can’t stop it and she can’t shake the hurt caused by the fact that those supposedly nearest and dearest to her have no idea who she is. 

When she arrived at the solution to her problem it had honestly seemed like a good idea but as a bleary eyed but clearly angry Lynette answers the door she suddenly has no idea what she was thinking and is going to have to plead temporary insanity, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have disturbed you. I’ll go.”

“You’ve woken me up and even if the children did somehow manage to sleep through your arrival they are going to be up any minute so my sleep is done for now, what do you want?”

She sheepishly pushes a tray towards Lynette, “I need you to try one of these cookies.”

Lynette shoots her a strange look, “Have you been talking to Parker?”

“No. Why would you ask that?”

“So you don’t expect anything in return for the cookie?”

“I just need you to tell me if they’re any good.”

“You come to my house at dawn because you want me to critique your culinary skills, you have lost your mind?”

“I might have, I have been up all night baking because I have this feeling that my whole identity hangs on whether or not these cookies are any good and you are the only person in the world that I can trust to give an honest opinion.”

Lynette looks concerned now, “Have you moved on from alcohol to other substances?”

“No but explaining the situation probably isn’t going to help convince you of my sanity.”

“Try me.”

“If I tell you, it might effect you answer and it would defeat the whole purpose of coming to you.”

Lynette takes a cookie from the tray that Bree couldn’t help but arrange immaculately. The blonde takes an excessive amount of time sampling the cookie, she turns it into a production, sniffing it and taking a small test bite as though she is a cookie connoisseur, “I feel this expectation to say the right thing for you but I don’t know what that is.”

“If I wanted someone to say the right thing I wouldn’t have come to you, I want you to tell me the truth.”

“In that case, I’m annoyed that you’re here and I think that this whole thing is ridiculous.”

“I already knew that, I just need to know what you think of the cookie.”

“It’s fine.”

“So you wouldn’t say it was terrible?”

“It’s nice, it’s tasty, it’s good even but it’s just a cookie Bree, I have no idea what you want from me.”

“I just needed to know that it was okay, I’ll go now.”

Lynette reaches out and grabs her arm to stop her from leaving, “God help me, I’m worried about you, do you want to come in and talk?”

“I do but I don’t want to intrude any more than I already have.”

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

“I don’t know if I can be the one to help you with that.”

“I know.”

“I thought we did a good job at seeming okay at Gabby’s.”

“It wasn’t easy, you stood next to me on purpose didn’t you?”

“I might have.”

“What do you want from me Lynette?”

“Everything that I can never have.”

“It’s not fair to blame that on me.”

“I don’t, well not all the time. I don’t want you to stop wanting me.”

She thinks about telling Lynette how selfish and unfair that is but all that comes out of her mouth is, “I won’t.” Her simple statement earns a smile from Lynette that emboldens her, “You have no idea how annoyed I am that Tom is away on a business trip and yet I can’t be with you, that’s just a little too much salt in the wound.”

“I’m rather frustrated with my timing myself. How are things with you parents?”

“Nothing that couldn’t be cured by their untimely deaths.”

“That bad huh?”

“I’m almost nostalgic for Phyllis.”

“Jesus! Do you want me to kick their asses?”

“No,” she shakes her head a Lynette’s suggestion but it does bring a smile to her lips, not to mention a rather enjoyable visual image.

“I could take them you know what with them being old and all.”

She has to suppress her laugh, “You did all I needed you to do by telling me that there was nothing wrong with the cookie.”

“You are uncharacteristically easy to please today.”

“You think I’m difficult to please?”

“Sometimes. Did I just undo all my good cookie work?”

She wants Lynette to be the one person that does see her but maybe it’s too much to ask, “Maybe a little.”

“It wasn’t a criticism.”

“Do you think I have unrelenting standards?” she hates the fact that in her desperation she may have turned into Eleanor.

“You have high standards but they are far from unrelenting, after all I got through the cracks.” 

“I hate them you know.”

“Your parents or your standards?”

“Both.”

“You can take comfort in the fact that I lower your standards and you’re not Robinson Crusoe in the family sucking department.”

“I’m a grown woman how can they still have so much power over me? I mean I don’t even like them all that much and yet I still want their approval.”

“They had a hand in making you Bree, you can’t change that.”

“Things were better when I could think of you as my family.”

Lynette’s hand hovers over her heart, “I’ll always be your family.”

“I don’t think I can settle for a sisterly bond.”

“Well that would just be creepy at this point, I don’t know that I have a definition for what we are to another though.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter anymore, besides I should go, I don’t want to have to explain where I’ve been.” 

“Bree, wait!” She turns back to meet Lynette’s expectant eyes, “Can I have another cookie?”

She hands the item over and the electric surge that floods her body as their fingers graze is enough to allow her to face whatever her father and Eleanor are going to throw at her. It’s also probably a major motivator in the scheme that she manages to concoct with Justin. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it she had a greater problem with the idea that Justin could find something to love in Andrew than she did with the idea of Andrew committing the sin of homosexuality. She remains certain that there is more than a little evil in her son but it’s possible that she is just guilty as her parents are of not really knowing who her child is. The problem clearly isn’t one sided though because when she informs him that she has invited Justin to dinner he looks at her as though she is a complete stranger. 

Andrew does seem happy playing cards with Justin and even though she used his relationship with Justin to her own advantage she can’t help wishing that he’d chosen an easier path for himself. She knows his flaunting of his homosexual tendencies has a lot to do with hurting her but he has opened himself up to so many other problems, maybe he didn’t think it through, didn’t contemplate what he stood to lose by openly engaging in such activities or maybe he is lot braver than she ever gave him credit for. The bigotry of her parents gave her her son back but it is also confirmation of what would happen to her if people knew about her and Lynette, she wants to think that she is capable of being as brave as Andrew and that she loves Lynette enough to give everything up for her but she doesn’t deserve Lynette because she can’t stop chasing the approval of parents that she doesn’t even like, not even for the woman she loves.


End file.
